Someone's story, hit me straight to the heart and i thank him alot....he made me realise many things....and thanks to cindy's boyfriend too for his so called 'PRO' couselling....thanks...
i guess i know what i should be doing now.....

I'll tell you what you should do.....you shouldn't let them down nor say bad things about them and all...NEVER let them down...never try to make them feel bad don't do the same as what i did.....you'll regret...because only a fool like me will only do these type of things...because i'm not a good friend or even a good friend.....i'm the worst of the worst...

When ppl treat you well, treat them back better...
dun get pissed at them...because someday, sometime, somewhere you'll regret everything...
dun scold them, dun belittle them, dun make them dissapointed, because if someone treat you well, they DO care bout you, when they start scolding you sometimes, think bout what u've done wrong instead of scolding them back and break the relation because you WILL surely regret all your actions........because there could be no one else who had ever treated u that good.....
no one else you felt happiness with, love with, brother-sister care with....
because the feeling that develops is closer than any other feeling and realtion that are closer than you and your family....because friends who are with you ARE your REAL family...
DUN REGRET your actions making them down...
making them pissed...
demotivating them......because one day you will realise how important they are to you...
FRIENDS who are always there for you....FRIENDS who always scold you....FRIENDS who always tell you off you mistakes.....
ARE YOUR FAMILY and life.....FRIENDS like these are forever.....
FRIENDS like these can devolop in a class when at first we know no one to and close knitted family.....

FRIENDS like these are the ones who will care for you.....even when u need them they are sometimes not there but think back in school and in older times have they failed you???
they sometimes can't always be there for you outside school and all because they might have their own problems....

But when one in that family piss the rest off.....demotivate them.....fucked them off....
he is NOT WORTHY of being even an animal because he doesn't even has a heart........
he even scold his own family who are always there for him during his ups and downs.....
even a DOG will remember those who do good to it....

SO NOW WHAT AM I???? can i even be categorised in the animal category after all i've done???
REGRETS and GUILT haunts me everyday......i can't slp well...everything has a consequence.....
THIS IS MY SIN THEREFORE I'LL HAVE TO FACE MY PUNISHEMENTS......

THERE"S NO USE IN WEEPING AND REGRETTING BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT>>>> there's no use in apologizing and asking for forgiveness when you've done too many things and asked for too many forgiveness b4......there's nothing i can say to undo the past......but i really want to undo it......

NOW i dun even have the guts to face all of you....after all i've said and done.....i really dunno why i did it......shame is all i will have to bring with me everyday.....guilty of too many sins.......UNFORGIVEN.........i can't even talk to you guys or look up to see ur faces.....=(
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to all my friends who i hurt......i guess i said those things just to hurt all of your feelings and all....


I apologize to all that really put your effort to make the blog and to make it last....
i guess i am really good at spoiling ppl's mood and all....sorry cin,cyn,viv,tik and the rest who made the blog and willing to spend your time just for 2c class.....i guess i'm just nt worthy to be in that class......

In actual fact i am the one that SUCKS!!!....
I'm sorry to all of you in fact i am sorry to those who really put an effort to make the blog and all....i dunno what i wanted to do that day and all....
i guess i felt that i wanted to be hated to be pissed at and to be left out a bastard...
I'm sorry but i dun expect for you guys to forgive me and all.....because i started it all....
all my actions will pay out....good ones and bad ones...but for now those bad ones are more than my good ones....



I need guidance...someone pls help me...
i dunno what to do
i dunno what i want
i dunno what i do is right or wrong
i dunno who to go to when i have troubles
i dunno whether i can undo my mistakes
i dunno whether i can make a change in my life
i dunno whether i want to be hated
i dunno whether i want to be loved
i dunno whether i what i am suppose to do now
i dunno whether to go on making you all pissed at me more and more
i dunno whether i should rebel against my dad or not
i dunno whether to go on pissing everyone else

i really don't know what the hell is wrong with me....
i missed those times when i wasn't like this
when i wasn't pissing everyone off...
when i wasn't bugging ppl...
when i wasn't annoying ppl....
when i had someone to go to when i gt troubles...
when i had friends who 'cared'...

now where had all these gone to??
is it all because of my attitude??
is it all because of my mood??
is it because i am meant to be like this??


i'm sorry
actually i missed all those times when we were together...
i wanted to be in those photos that were taken...
i wanted them to be kept as memories...
but why only now i realise all these???

i'm sorry for all i have done and all....
but i guess this is all nothing compared to what we had....
relation as a family....

but i guess this is my consequence.....
every thing there will be a choice and a consequence....
i guess this is my sin and this is my punishment after all the things i have done....

I AM SO SORRY>>>
there's nothing i can say to undo what i have done and all....
because it is because of my actions.....therefore this is my consequence....
i started all these....

I'm so lost.....